Gordon G Hall
Writer and Neo-Philhellene

The Logs of Saga and Folly

A series of internal conversations within the minds of dogs!

In which Saga's thoughts are recorded in Green, whilst Folly's thoughts are in Red.


In which Saga appears to be going bonkers, but comes into her own at a Flatcoat Fun Day,
whilst Folly performs an Heroic Rescue on Coniston Water but gets worried about Growing Up!

Today (Isn't it Always)
ME in Big Trouble
GordonMate talking of ME need Pshycho-thingamy!
ME think Psycho-thingamy not for eating but for BrainMessing
Gordon say ME not have enough brain-cells for Psycho-thingamy,
he say if he paid by ME brain cells that might be available for Psycho-thingamying
then he only pay few pennies for ME
ME thinks this possibly an insult - but might be a Good Thing.
Anyhow-ways GordonMate think ME barmy
ME now Mature, Sensible Flatcoat Citizen so . .
why ME at NightSnoozeTime churn up Lino into tiny bits with ClawScrape?
why ME go Pant/Shiver/Bolt at Medicine-Man-Vet?
Vet says "Bring that Flatcoat in any time you are passing for a titbit"
ME NOT FOOL. ME know that if Medicine-Man-Vet give ME titbit in one hand
he have horrible ClawAmputate or StickInNeedle in other
GordonMate say "No, he is a kind man". Gordon economical with truth! ME cogitate at NightSnoozeTime
ME decide to ClawUp lino in case Medicine-Man-Vet come as Boogie!
Scrabble-Scrape-Pant-Slobber-Claw Ooooooh!

ME did a Very Good Thing TodayAgo!
Yes, ME!
A Good Thing!!!
Very Very windy day on Coniston Water - much better day for Long Walk
than for messing about in Gordon Boats
Well-it-is-like-this. Gordon has GordonMate crewing for him on boat 'Ruskin'
me and SagaFriend doing our goooey-eye thing 'cos lots of Yankee-Doodles
from Tauk Tours all slobbery about us (cos they left their dogs in Yankee-Doodle land)
Well we get to Brantwood jetty and GordonMate jumps off boat and does warp-ey thing
BUT wind goes Wheeee-Bluster
GordonMate's smart Coniston launch hat goes Whoosh . .
ends up in water longways from jetty
GordonMate distressed and tries to retrieve with super-long boathook - Fat Chance
me jumps up and down
"Let me, Let me, LET ME !!!"
Gordon very dopey (see bit about Brain Cells above)
At last he realises he has two RETRIEVERS to hand
Gordon takes me and SagaFriend to shore and does 'Hi-Lost' thing
Retrievers take to water - but very rough so cannot see "Hi-Lost"
Gordon makes SagaSit, he throws stone and says "Folly, Hi-Lost"
me LEAP IN and SWIM STRONGLY and FIND GordonMate Hat
me Retrieve hat to stoney-shore and have 'All-Over-GordonMate-Shake'
GordonMate so pleased with me she not say usual "Push-Off-You-Brat"!

Today (Isn't it Always)
Gordon take ME and FollyThing to Flatcoat Fun Day Gordon never been to Flatcoat Fun Day before so he very uncertain
ME not sure he can cope with all the things ME want him to do
ME take him to Retrieve-The-Dummy competition
make sure he really understands what he has to do
Gordon think he is showing ME what ME has to do -Pwoooof!
ME make him stand still and give the "Hi-Lost" at right time
ME race over straw bales, sniff/grab dummy, dash back BUT
Gordon moves so spoils ME retrieve.
Just to show him ME does perfect jump-into-pen retrieve
Gordon say he not think ME able to do all this without training
Pshaw ! ME a Flatcoated Retriever!
ME take Gordon to Flyball training
Gordon has to run over jumps with tennis ball (VERY FUNNY SIGHT!)
ME do well with retrieving tennis balls BUT
Gordon gets all Uppity-Tetchy about ME expected to paw for ball
Don't know why - ME had whole thing sussed anyways
ME go round back and face-lick BallTenderMan - he say I need more training
Gordon and GordonWasPup take ME off to Obedience Ring with FollyThing
ME Very Good Sit/Stay/Heel
Nice Man has chewy-bits - very yummy - Ooooooh!

me very muchly miffed at Fun Day
GordonWasPup's Girlfriend take me to Rather Old Man
Rather Old Man has big slideystickthing
puts slideystickthing over me shoulder
me has little wriggle just to show who is Boss
Rather Old Man peers at slideystickthing and looks Very Serious
he talk to Gordon
he say "Folly is outside the Breed Standard - she is too tall"
me upset
not my fault me too tall
me do my best
everwhichperson in me wholelife keep saying "Oh, Grow Up, Folly"
well me tried everso hard to Grow Up
now look what's happened - me Overgrown Up!
me over twenty four inches at shoulder
SagaFriend just twenty two and three quarters
Rather Old Man say "Saga perfect for bitch"
me think life Very Unfair
anyhow-ways me think going to Flatcoat FunDay is GordonRuse
me think Gordon just want to drive new Alfa-car he bought Gordonmate!
me go and dream-retrieve a few more hats to feel better

Saga and Folly

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Distant Fells
Inspiration from this glorious world.